today is your 22nd and you didn't show up

hey... where are you.. am i the only one that missing someone? kemana sih kamu?? dah sebulan ngga ada kabarnya... you said that u'll give me news... tapi mana?? entah kenapa aku merasa bahwa ini semua sudah sampai disini saja... dan bila aku pun ikut menghilang dari dunia cyber ini kau pun pasti tak tau... atau lebih baik kita sama2 menghilang saja dan saling melupakan? dan semuanya akan berakhir begitu saja... karena seperti nya aku melihatnya seperti itu... ini semua hanya tersisa aku yang berdiri sendiri disini tanpa tahu keadaanmu disana.. ataukah kau sama saja sepertiku?? tak tahu akan keadaanku? lalu kenapa tidak meninggalkan sesuatu agar bisa kupanggil... agar ketika ku berteriak kau dapat mendengarnya.. aku ingin kau menoleh dan tersenyum kepadaku, SEKARANG! karena besok ataupun nanti terasa begitu lama... dan aku tak tahu apakah aku masih mampu bertahan... karena sabar ada batasnya... dan aku takut kehabisan...

i wish.....

i just wish that i could blame GOD... for all of this instead to say thanks to all of His Blessings.. I wish that i could scream at someone at this time.. this moments when i feel like... im in serious trouble.. when im in despair.. i feel lost... AGAIN!!!.. dont know why.. i feel that all that ive gained suddenly dissapeared... now im back!... ive changed and now i feel like i used to be.. lost and vulnerable... or maybe thats what i am and i just dont realize??.. i dont know.. to much too explained but i even dont have a clue about it... honestly.. i dont even know why im writing this.. silly isnt it.. having a life that u dont have any clue about it.., cant think of nothin.. cant find nothing... walking nowhere... talk to no one... im starting to think who i am... who am i?? i wish that all this blur gone.. i wanna see the world again.. like u see.. like everyone see.. beautiful.. but i can see it anymore.. i always wish that i have another life... being someone else than me... i dont hate myself... i just dont like being me... oh, GOD...who is me.. here we are.,... back to some old question..i wish i dont even have to ask all of this... i need answer..!!!